“Oh sweet babe, what stories you have to tell,” I whisper to the newborn at 2 am as I help his mama breastfeed. He coos and jabbers away, emotion clear in his little cries and utterances. I encourage him to express his stories, try to listen to what he is so clearly attempting to communicate.
I can hear the words of one of our beautiful mentors in the field of perinatal psychology, Charisse Basquin. She teaches us to listen to the babies, and hear the stories they are telling, and help them to be heard and validated. And I know, deeply and truly, that this is one of the most important and sacred works we are entrusted with as midwives.
As National Midwifery Week comes to a close, and I prepare to speak tonight at our Alaska Family Health and Birth Center Fundraiser, I have so many thoughts bouncing around in my head about what makes midwifery, and birth centers, so special, so important. And in my midnight musings it all crystallizes clearly into this….
We listen. To the babies, as they tell their stories of birth and passage, joy and fear. To the mamas, as they place their hope and excitement, anxiety and terror, in our hands, and we hand it back to them and say, “It is yours. I cannot do it for you. But I will give you tools, I will walk beside you, we can do this together.” To the daddies as they look at us with concern, wondering if they have what it takes to do this big thing. And we nod and let them know, yes, they do have what they need, and so much more, and we will help them. To those who come to us traumatized by their past experiences with providers, wanting to get care again, but so afraid. We listen, and we tell them, “We can walk slowly. At whatever pace you need. This is about you, and we will listen.” To the siblings, who need attention too, and want you to know this baby is theirs. Who smile bigger than you’ve ever seen when we help them put their hands on their mama’s growing belly, and feel the kicks of the new baby who is coming to share a life with them.
This is the core of human experience. To be heard, and seen. To tell your story, and to have others who can relate hear it for its truth and beauty, its joy and darkness. And this is at the core of midwifery.
We are not perfect. We make mistakes all the time, and navigate the care of those entrusted to us with wonder and humility, hoping to learn from every person we touch. But at the heart of it, we listen, and will continue to listen, and encourage everyone we encounter, to listen…
To the babies…
To the mamas…
To the daddies…
To the children…
To the midwives…
To the world and every living thing in it.
Thank you for the privilege of letting us hear and witness your stories. It is a blessing and an honor greater than any other.
